Memory Verse #24

Give attention to the sound of my cry, my King and my God, for to you do I pray. Psalm 5:2 ESV

Memory Verse #23

He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken.  Psalm 62:2

My ability to function daily rests in the truth of this verse.  Regardless of circumstance, there are moments that threaten to shake us to the core.  I love knowing I don't have to shake and tremble.  I would be lying, though, if I said I always remembered this.  I desire to be continually resting in His fortress.

Prayer

I have never really studied or treasured the Lord's Prayer.  However, there have been times in the recent weeks where I have longed to pray but my mind proved foggy and I couldn't seem to find the words.  The Lord's Prayer found my lips.  I am so thankful for a Christian upbringing.  These words have been buried in my heart when I didn't even realize I needed them.

Memory Verses #21 and #22

No eye has seen. No ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those that love Him. I Corinthians 2:9

I am counting on the LORD; yes, I am counting on Him. I have put my hope in His Word.

 Psalm 130:5

I have decided to work ahead and share both November verses.  These verses have been on my fridge for months, written on crumpled paper to get me through a time of worry.  Crumpled because I carried them in my pocket and referenced them on a particularly difficult day in back in mid-May.

Comfort.

Truth.

Love.

Memory Verses #19 & #20

I had a list of 21 verses with me during the labor and delivery of my sweet Nora Grace.  I keep that list close to me now that we are home, too.  It is tucked into my journal and I look at if often.  These two verses are dear to my heart.  

#19 I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now, I give him to the Lord. 1 Sam. 1:27-28a

I had heard 1 Sam 1:27 often but only recently did I read on to verse 28.  The Lord blessed us with Nora.  She is a gift and an answer to prayers.  But, she is not ours.  She belongs to the Lord, and though there may be "pain in the offering," I want her in God's hands, not mine. 

#20 For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations. Psalm 100:5

The theme of generations/family tree spoke to me often during my pregnancy.  After losing my grandfathers, it became important to me that we carry on the legacy of the Godly men who have gone before us and raised families we are blessed to be a part of.  This verse hangs in Nora's room, and to me, sums up beautifully God's faithfulness in families. 

Memory Verse #18

For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace. Romans 6:14

This "grace", or "charis" (Greek), is meant to elicit a reaction.  I was at a conference yesterday and here are a few words or phrases that jumped out to me from the definition of charis:

-joy

-favor

-granted or desired

-absolutely free expression

-found in the bounty of the Giver

-new creature

This grace is not a New Testament phenomenon.  In the Old Testament, the word occurs as "favor."  God has manifested His grace through all time, and it's not hidden.

What does it mean to live under grace?  You may believe your salvation is by grace, and that is good, but it does not mean you automatically live under grace in every aspect of your life.  Here are a few things to help relocate your address from under the law to under grace:

1. Some things in our lives need to hear a loud "no longer." (Romans 6:6)

2. The power to live out a lasting "no longer" can't be found under the law.

3. It's time we no longer see our lives under any heading but "grace."

4. It's also time we quit trying to resuscitate the old dead us.  

5. Let's trade our "no longer worthy" for "I'm no longer the same."

6. We will see the face of Grace and need grace to bear the beauty.

Memory Verse #17

Praise the LORD, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the LORD, my soul, and forget not all his benefits— Psalm 103:1-2 NIV 

Guess what?  Pregnancy brain is a real thing.  Just ask my husband.  Oh my goodness.  

We joke about it, but for me, it's been frustrating and a little embarrassing to not function like I'm used to.  Within the last week or so, I feel like it's even been affecting my spiritual life.  I consider myself a thoughtful person, one who enjoys thinking about God and His Word.  For the life of me, I don't feel like I can thread a deep thought about God (or anything for that matter).  I'm in the Word, but truth be told, I'm really just reading words.  I'm not letting it speak to me as I should.  I'm not concentrating on it.  I recently finished reading through the New Testament and found myself longing for the prayers and praises found in Psalms, so that's where am I now in my daily reading.

Along with longing for a thought, I've found myself longing for praise and worship time.  Due to several circumstances, I haven't been able to sit through an entire church service in several weeks.  I've missed our worship time very much.  I know you don't have to attend corporate worship to praise God, but when that piece is missing, I do feel it.  Today, as we sang "I'm desperate for you...," I could not keep my hands down.  It felt so good to slow down and sit and think about God.  

That's my goal for the next few weeks.  It may or may not be realistic, but honestly, I can't think of any better way to prepare for the birth and homecoming of my little girl.

Building Complete

I can't stop looking at this picture.  Here is the completed Children's Welfare Institute in Luoyang, China, built just in front of Maria's (see the blue building in the distance?).  Here's what the building looked like in 2009:

And in 2011 (the playground is part of Maria's):

My stomach turned a little when I saw the finished building.  It looks very glorified, don't you think?  A woman much wiser than myself pointed out the "castle" structures (top picture, left) outside the new orphanage and how appropriate that truly is, as the children inside are His princes and princesses, whether they know it or not.  I pray His love and truth stretches beyond the blue walls and fills this new home.  I remember asking God what He is doing when I first visited this little corner of the world.  There is Maria's, a prison, a "homeless shelter" and there was the beginning of a new state-run orphanage.  You have the orphan, widow, poor and suffering all in one little area.  God I pray for mighty things to happen.  How will you use the staff and mission of Maria's to reach others?  You can make big things happen.  I ask and trust you will.

Will you pray with me?

Memory Verse #16

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right, persevering, and steadfast spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10 (Amplified)

Memory Verse #15

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. Ps 19:14, NLT

I have been in prayer much over the past several months over my words and my heart.  Not because there is a specific issue but because I am human and a sinner and soon my words will fall on little ears.  The sin in my heart will be brought to the surface and take on new meaning, new guilt, new sorrow and new grace.  

Wisdom, please, my God, wisdom.  Thoughtfulness...Slow to speak...Wisdom.

Memory Verse #14

Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear. Isaiah 65:24, NIV

Middle of July.  Wow.  

This verse reveals so many of our Mighty Savior's attributes.  He is all-knowing.  He is interested in us.  He delights in providing for His children.  He is involved in our lives.  He is available.  He is personal.

Here is another version of the verse (NLT): I will answer them before they even call to me. While they are still talking about their needs, I will go ahead and answer their prayers!

Even before we ask, He knows.  Even before we ask, He answers.  Talk about dependable.  I often lean toward believing that it's easier to do things on my own because other people don't follow through or do what they say they will do.  This verse blows any doubt that God won't follow through out of the water.  Not only that, but He knows our needs and our heart's desire before we do!

He also hears when we speak.  How often do you tune someone out because you know, or you think you know, what they are going to say?  God doesn't.  He delights in hearing from us.  He hangs on our every word because He said He would.  What a humbling lesson, too, while reading familiar Bible passages.  By God's grace, we may know a passage well, at least well enough to know the order the words appear on the page.  Do we tune out any chance of the Spirit's leading?  Maybe.  If the Creator of the universe can listen to us when He knows what's coming, can't we read His word with the same respect?  

I'm challenged.  

Memory Verse #13

"Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul." Psalm 143:8 (b), NIV

A cry for wisdom.  While these words apply to any and all aspects my life, one in particular is ministry.  As my ministry focus shifts to my kitchen table, I am praying to find balance in all I "do."  I am ready to step away from some things but I don't want to step away from everything.  I know the next 6 months is not the rest of my life, but I still want to be very mindful of how I spend my time.  Praying!  

Sacred Parenting

I am sitting in a room that brings a smile to my face.  It has the bones of a baby's room.  As I rock in a chair I'm prepared to spend many nights soothing, cuddling and snoozing, I am looking back through a book that has encouraged my soul for what's to come.  Gary Thomas' Sacred Parenting spoke to my heart just as his Sacred Marriage did 6(!) years ago.  I'd like to share a few, or more, quotes that encouraged, challenged or strengthened my heart.  I filled several pages in my journal with quotes from the book.  I will try not to fill this post with as many.

-"In what we stress with our children, we reveal the true passion of our own hearts."
-"If they never sin but are only 'sick;' if they never 'fail' but just get 'cheated'...they will never sense their need for a Savior."
-"If God allowed his own Son to suffer...we can expect times when we will have to watch our children suffer for the greater good."
-"We are shepherding image bearers of the Creator God who live with freedom of choice, their own wills and a personal responsibility of their own."
-"It is my job to model my own need for God's mercy and to demonstrate how God can use even sinful people to accomplish his aims."
-"Prayers of thankfulness have added a new dimension to my parenting.  I try to thank God for my kids more than I ask God to change them."
-"Yes you would die for that child, but God already has. No one feels that child's pain more than God himself."
-"Parenting-even sacred parenting- comes with no guarantees."
-"You must become what you are praying _______ to become."

Matthew 25:35-36, 40 "For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.'...And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.'"

Here's to parenting on my knees...

Memory Verse #12

But the things that come out of a person's mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. Matthew 15:18, NIV

I'm linking you to a blog article that really spoke to me this week.  This was challenging to me personally in my own heart, but also as I look to a new season of parenting.  I pray I parent my children with the wisdom and gospel-pointed love shown here.  

Parenting on my knees, as I say!

http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/the-gospel-cure-for-a-child-s-heart-and-our-own

Memory Verse #11

"My heart and flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

Psalm 73:26, NIV

After saying "see you soon" to another grandparent, one thing resonates with me- God's faithfulness to the generations.  After my Papa's funeral, I wanted to start a family to carry on his legacy.  I have the same yearning after Poppy's.  I hope Nate and I can carry on the legacy of the GENUINE, Christ-following man my Poppy was.  Poppy loved people.  This was not a secret.  His house was always open, and he greeted friends with food, a swim and a good story.  He loved kids.  I loved hearing about how he would get to know the kids on the baseball teams he coached whose parents were not at the games.  He would help them.  I loved hearing how in 20+ years of daddy and my uncle playing youth, high school and college sports, he never missed a game.  I loved hearing how Poppy supported my dad and uncle so they could follow their career goals.  I love the way my dad and uncle love their families.  I know it is because of the example of their father.  I love that he loved my grandmother since grade school, and I love that they were married 59 years and 11 months.

He was the youngest of 5 siblings and the first to pass.  But, even at 80, he's just not the kind of guy I think about being gone.  He was supposed to "coach" the Hey Dad softball games on Sunday and take his buddy to a doctor appointment on Tuesday.  He was also supposed to meet baby girl...  

He would have loved to meet baby girl...I can picture him holding her and singing her a good Southern Gospel song...

I won't forget the countless Cathedral concerts, the nose-plugged Shamu jumps in the pool, rolling my eyes at his stories (and rightly so...I mean, did you hear some of those stories?!), the suspenders, the candy, the kisses on my cheek or watching him watch a game.

Kenzie said it best when he passed, "He's giving Jesus a high-four!"

Hope for Harith

 

About a year and a half ago, I posted about urgent medical care needed for this little guy.  Harith's traveled all over the world for medical care.  Dr. Joyce, from New Hope Foundation, has sent updates to a group of his supporters. I was fearful for him when I had an update in my inbox this morning.  It has been a little while since we've heard anything and I was expecting the worse.

Praise God I was wrong.  

Here is what Dr. Joyce wrote...

Dear Friends of Harith,

You may all remember that last year we urgently asked for and received your overwhelming support to save the life of a baby called Harith.

With your help, Harith survived several serious lung infections due to a hole in his esophagus and was eventually transferred to Cedar Sinai hospital in Los Angeles.

He has done very well and has recently been matched for adoption. He is expected to continue to do well and grow into a normal, healthy individual.

We are extremely grateful to all of you who helped to save his life.

Did you catch that...he's being adopted!!!!  Tears of joy (or hormones?)!

Doesn't he look amazing???

Memory Verse #10

I am praying to you because I know you will answer, O God. Bend down and listen as I pray. 

Psalm 17:6, NLT

And another promise for this second verse of May.  I'm not very good at keeping secrets. However, I have come to LOVE the idea that God Almighty has many secrets.  A few years ago I would have admitted that I wish God hired sky-writers to tell us His plan in the midst of trouble.  "I trust," I would say, "I just want to know what's going to happen."  Now, I am human.  There are times I still look for that sky-writer, but I rest in the beautiful unknown because it's not unknown to Him.  He holds all.  He knows all.  His answer may not have been mine.  His is better.  I desire His best. 

As each prayer, request and word of thanks leaves my lips, He hears each one, this I know.  He not only listens, He responds, or will respond, in due time.

So, go.  Pray.  Trust.  Smile.  Your answer is coming.  

Memory Verse #9

What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things.  I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ. Philippians 3:8, NIV

I was recently reminded of this verse during a study on the Beatitudes.  Isn't it just fabulous?  In this world of gaining, we should strive for losing.  Stop, pause, and allow your priorities to be shaken.  Oh the joy we have in this treasure called Jesus!

CNN Coverage

EVERY time I heard about Boston this week, and obviously, it was many, I wanted to ask (sometimes not very nicely) in response, "So, have you heard about the Kermit Gosnell case?"

Yes, what happened in Boston was terrible.  But I have a really hard time being as angry, disgusted, or honestly, interested, as I am about the little ones brutally murdered by Gosnell.

And, no, you can never compare lives lost, and this is going to sound terrible, but three lost compared to hundreds...and which story gets non-stop coverage?

I am outraged and I pray I can watch my tongue as people will inevitably continue talking about the bombings in the coming weeks.

If you haven't heard Gosnell's name, don't feel bad.  The media doesn't want you to.  But you can click here, here or here.

A baby's first, and last, cry brought on by a snip to the spinal cord.  Now that is worthy of 24/7 CNN coverage, if you ask me.

Memory Verse #8

"I say to myself, 'The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.' The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him" Lamentations 3:25-26 

I'm praying for wisdom right now.  Many decisions need to be made.  Roles will change.  Life will change.  I find such rest in the Word, and scriptures like these encourage such rest.

I don't need to worry about writing the perfect birth plan (which, I think is a joke by the way), I just need to put my hope in him.  I don't need to worry about every possible medical issue that might occur.  I just need to put my hope in him.  I don't need to worry about finances and work.  I just need to put my hope in him.

I think our recent experience, as well as other experiences of waiting on the Lord, has taught me just how good it is to seek Him and rest.  Peace, thankfulness and a quiet heart are beautiful results of waiting, hoping and seeking.  At least those are the results I am knowing right now.  No worry is worth trading those things for.

Memory Verse #7

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  Lamentations 3:22-23, NIV84

Do you ever feel overwhelmed when you read Scripture?  There are several promises here that the world will tell you are impossible- 'love," "not consumed," "never fail," "faithfulness."  

I think even more than being overwhelmed by God's goodness, my mouth hangs open here because these concepts are so foreign to my flesh.  

Does my love fail?  Do I wipe perceived grievances against myself clean every morning?  Am I faithful in all word and deed?  

Just a few thousand years ago, the disciples awoke one morning and probably thought they reached the end of His new mercies.  Their Savior was in the grave.  His love, His compassion, His faithfulness was no longer tangible to them.  Did they doubt He was the Christ that day?  In their hearts or minds, did they forsake the One who had appeared to forsake them?

His mercies weren't dead that day.  The disciples' eyes just had not been opened yet.  But a few days later, they experienced His greatness and faithfulness in a whole new way.    

I trust because I know these promises to be true from my own experience.  Perhaps like the disciples, these promises are so great, so foreign, we can't see them first time around, but when we do, and we are pushed to our knees in humble adoration, we can say, my God, how great Thou art!

A father's love

I follow the blog of a nurse at Maria's Big House of Hope.  This is a story I never expected.  Too awesome not to share!

Take a few minutes...

I recently learned about this organization.  I would encourage you to watch this and sign this.

Thanks!

Memory Verse #6

I am going to send you what my Father has promised; but stay in the city until you have been clothed with power from on high. Luke 24:49, NIV The theme of a particular blog I follow this week has been clothing. Figuratively and literally. I thought I'd stay in the figurative frame of mind and be clothed with power! (Because let's face it, nothing else fits well these days.) There are so many good things packed in this verse. 1. Promises- Jesus is confirming His Father's promises.  He has spent the last 40 days ministering to the disciples after His death and resurrection.  I can't imagine the range of emotion, doubt, confusion and joy the disciples must have experienced.  They clung to every word that fell from Christ's lips.  His words, God's promises, are true. They can be trusted. They WILL come.   2. Waiting- I have seen "God's timing" play out in so many personal situations in my life, I am beginning to secretly love when things don't go the way I hoped (and even pray they don't).  I have learned and know God's ways are infinitely better than mine, and I'd rather have His!  There is joy and excitement in waiting.   If I am to stay in the city, friends, I'm staying!!  3. Power- Do I pray enough for God's power?  I pray for strength often but not power.  They are not the same thing.  I pray for strength to get through a stressful day, strength in a difficult season of life, or simply strength to keep going when I'm tired.  I hope this verse challenges my prayers in the coming weeks to ask for power.  Power to share faith, power to be the wife my husband needs, power to live in the present. Be clothed in His POWER. It is for us!

Supernatural Peace

"It's not the 1st or the 15th. Why is Megan blogging?" you may be asking yourself.  Enjoy this short bonus entry!

The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. Lamentations 3:25

I am truly thankful, quieted and humbled in how God is protecting my heart from anxiety and worry.  I feel supernatural peace, reassurance and joy.  I feel satisfied in the unknown because I am satisfied in Him.  His goodness brings tears to my eyes (or would that be the hormones?!), as I reflect on this faith He's allowed to grow in me.  This season of life, coupled with what I see everyday at work, could easily and justifiably have me rocking in the fetal position in a corner.  He's protected my heart from the enemy.  I am filled with gratitude and praise.  

May the LORD give strength to his people! May the LORD bless his people with peace! Psalm 29:11

Amen!

Memory Verse #5

"'Who has known the mind of the LORD? Or who has been His counselor?' 'Who has ever given to God, that God should repay Him?'" Romans 11:34-35, NIV

I have been involved in a group who for the past 5 years has studied the second half of the book of Romans.    

We are diligent, what can I say?

Romans is jam packed full of God-reliant, grace-overflowing, tough-love theology.  In my mind, the chapters we studied are broken into two broad categories: in 8-11, Paul outlines the Jews, the Gentiles and God's sovereignty.  In 12-16, Paul tells believers, Jews or Gentiles, how they should be living, sacrificing and loving others.  The 4 verses between these sections (Chapter 11: 33-36) outline beautiful truth and a perfect place to rest.  Let me share with you all four verses:

Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and^[i] knowledge of God!

    How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out!

“Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor?" 

"Who has ever given to God, that God should repay them?”

For from him and through him and for him are all things.

    To him be the glory forever! Amen.

I love verses 34 and 35 because, to me, they wonderfully knock me to my knees.  My prideful self needs as much knocking as it can get!  And just as I try to pick myself up and dust myself off, His grace and mercy overflow and knock me down again.  Praise!  Remember!

Also, don't you just love the sarcasm Paul references from Isaiah and Job.  God having a counselor?  God owing something?  Laughable!   

Happy March, everyone!  Exciting things are happening!

Memory Verse #4 and a Precious Picture

"Martha, Martha," the LORD answered, "You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.  Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."  Luke 10:41-42, NIV

I think Martha was the oldest in her family.

Are we told in Scripture?  I can't recall, but I'd place my money on it.  

Part of my psychology brain has always been fascinated with studies on birth order.  This short and sweet Martha and Mary story in the Bible never thrilled me, because let's face it, I, Megan, the oldest child in my family, would not have chosen what is better, either.  Regrettably.

I know what it's like preparing, planning, and worrying everything will be "just right" for guests.  That shouldn't be read negatively.  I enjoy it.  But, I shouldn't place my worth in those things...which I all too often, and too easily, do.  

I can just sense Martha's frustrations with Mary.  Here we go again...I'm doing all the work and she's having social hour.  Doesn't she know how important this meal is?  Doesn't she understand it's not going to serve itself?

Here is the difference between Martha and I.  You see, Martha ran to Jesus to get some sympathy and help.  She was fed up.  Yes, in one sense, I would have faced the temptation to flaunt my hard work in front of my Savior, but I don't think my pride would have allowed me to do that.  As much as I like credit, I also like people thinking I have it all together.  (If I tell Jesus Mary isn't helping, then it looks like I can't handle it!  God forbid.)

Man, oh man, how those red letters convict!

I love Jesus' response, don't you?  He says "you are worried and upset about many things...."  Here is Martha, complaining about her sister, and Christ calls her out on so much more.  Don't you hate (ok, maybe love it) when He does that to us??

I choose to cling to what is better and not stress.  

Who wants to come over for dinner?

In other news.... Happy Valentine's Day from the sweetest kids on the planet!

Memory Verse #3

His mercy extends to those who fear Him, from generation to generation. 

Luke 1:50

Promises.  Amen.

I know the following thought is not groundbreaking.  In fact, it reflects something I've heard my entire life.  And I've always believed it.  But I've never owned it.  Until now.

Any fear, doubt, unknown, or question grows strangely dim in light of God's promises. 

I can not stress enough how much I love Scripture.  Only by God's grace can I say this and mean it.  But it's true.  His Word is alive and active.  It is precious.

I challenge you to forsake any fear for His truth.  It's so great when you do.

Generational mercy, as referenced in this verse, is really an incredible thing.  It's a testament to the unchanging nature of our God.  All He asks is for our respect, our love, our life.  This is what I remember from my grandfathers funeral, almost 3 years ago, probably more than anything else. God is the God of the faithful generations. God first started revealing to me His timing and desire for us to start a family, a new generation, that day.

I indeed have a front row seat of God's mercy in my life right now.  My journal entries from the last month are filled with raw emotion, prayer, answer, and promises from our loving Father.

Generational Mercy. Amen.

Memory Verse #2

Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be shaken but endures forever.  As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the Lord surrounds his people both now and forevermore. Psalm 125:1-2, NIV

Here is the second out of, Lord willing, 24 verses I will memorize this year.  You can read why I am doing this here.

Before I talk about verse #2, let me say what a blessing this memory work has already been.  God has renewed my mind, strengthened my weak self and taught me something new.  The phrase "patient in trouble" in Romans 12:12, NLT, really deepened my understanding of waiting on the Lord.  Often, when you hear Christians talk about God teaching them patience, it is in terms of something positive.  For example, one may say this regarding waiting for a wedding or a new job.  But this verse reminded me to slow myself in the midst of trouble.  Don't be in such a hurry to get over trouble you miss why God lead you through that trouble.  I can't tell you how many times over the last two weeks I've said to myself "patient in trouble, patient in trouble."  It has given me such peace and hope.  It has also silenced that ugly "why" question.  Praise be to God.

Now, for verse number 2.  I recently completed a Bible Study on the Psalms of Ascent with a dear sister.  The theme of being surrounded has stayed with me.  I have a sticky note on my desktop with the following quote by my girl, Beth: 

"Nothing can close in on you without closing in on Him first."  

Read it again.

Let's get visual here for a moment.  Picture yourself.  Picture God's arms wrapped around you.  Picture all the junk of this world outside of those arms, closing in.  The junk that gets through and touches you, HAD to get through those Mighty arms.  Nothing can touch me that God did not say okay to first.  This verse holds the promise of his protection, his power, his love and his everlasting nature.  

That's what will be on my mind for the next 2 weeks.  What will be on yours?

Kings & Queens

A current favorite of mine. It's best with the volume all the way up.

Memory Verse #1

Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. 

Romans 12:12 NLT

Rarely do I stray from the NIV 84. I like the consistency and familiarity of it. However, this verse and version popped up in my inbox a few weeks ago and I liked the simplicity of the NLT. 

I pray my hope in Christ, and not my trouble, or even hope in my situation, are evident here.  Bottom line, Nate and I are having said "trouble" starting a family.  I think we are onto why, and we are hopeful it is an easy fix.  I am hopeful.  Hopeful I will begin to feel better (I am physically and emotionally at the end of my rope, here!) and hopeful for a baby, of course. 

But ultimately, I am hopeful because of God and who He is.  Despite circumstance, He is faithful, true and full of grace.  Even in our "trouble", recently we were shown how He's possibly protected us from an even darker valley.  

That's not to say I've been full of joy lately.  Just being honest here.  I've cried.  A lot.   I've yelled at God...possibly the first time ever.  That was intense.  I know my emotions are safe with God, and even in my frustration, in the back of my mind, I know He's holding me close. There is peace in that.

In her book, Ungluded, Lysa TurKeurst says, "Therefore, might we agree that coming unglued isn't all bad if it brings us to God?"  I have most definitely been unglued.  And yes, I know with every fiber of my being, this path is not a mistake, it's not punishment, it's His way.  His ways are not mine.  His are better.

So, if we look at this verse, those with grace amnesia, such as myself, are reminded to be joyful, hopeful and patient.  But most importantly, this year, I am going to keep on praying!  How amazing that He hears.  He knows.  Goodness, it's almost too much to think about.  The God of all hears even me.

Happy New Year. Pray. Memorize. Praise!