...my attempt at a concluding entry to reading Crazy Love.
As I've read through Crazy Love, I have been grateful for my church. I am surrounded by the poor and people who love people; people who have sacrificed or will work/pray to meet the needs around them. It's truly a refreshing environment when you think about it. I mean, as I think about different families at church, there are so many people that have done/are doing things the world would view as crazy. In Chan's last chapter video he basically said that we should not seek perfection in knowing God's will and what we should do but that God just wants us to try something to show we love Him. God wants to see us try and to see us love. I have been challenged by stories in the book; some things I agree with, some I don't. I kinda view my past, and Lord willing future, China trip as one of my crazy love experiences. I do feel challenged to continue in our financial stewardship, as well. I was raised in a family and church that emphasized giving, which is good. I was challenged to think about my giving and realized I don't want to get stuck in my "giving routine." There's a line in a Matthew West song I am wrestling with..."throw a 20 in the plate but I never give til it hurts." What would that look like for me...giving til it hurts? (Again, China did hurt in various ways, but I am speaking financially here.)
I really did like the moments in the book when Chan reminded his readers that our life is a vapor. He gave important perspectives about worship, faith, control and heaven.
Overall, I have mixed feeling about the book. I know God used it to challenge me, but I also feel the Enemy used it to bring me down in some ways. When I am in my right mind, there is no doubt I have followed God's call for my life and I am right where I should be. But upon immediately finishing this book, I was struggling in my thoughts. I am quick to compare...the Enemy knows this...I kinda resent things that make me question if I'm following God's call or the call itself. There are great things happening around me and I can't be happy for these people/situations because I'm worrying that I'm doing something wrong. This over-thinking is definitely a snow ball effect. I hate it. It's dangerous.
I am thankful for the grace of a Savior and the wisdom of my husband.
I hear God whispering, "Be still...patience, my child...trust, relax, breath." Trusting my call and the One who gave it.
