Driving to work today. Song below began to play. And out of no where, crocodile-size tears start rolling down my cheeks. I did my best to blindly search my purse for a Kleenex because, of course, I put on eye make-up this morning.
Apparently, I just really needed to hear this today.
we're all sinking...
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
Nashville
Nate and I had a whirl-wind trip to Nashville on Saturday, attending the wedding of a dear friend who's become like a member of the family.
Show Hope is headquartered in Franklin, TN, and I knew I wouldn't have time to visit with dear China friends, but I desperately wanted to at least SEE where all the magic happens. After a short drive from Nashville, we stumbled upon The Factory. I just assumed I'd find a typical, empty-for-the-weekend office building. The parking lot was full, though, so we decided to walk around. Inside was an eclectic atmosphere of antiques, boutiques, businesses, and restaurants...and upstiars...we found it!!
I'm not sure why, but I had to blink back the tears as I approached the doors, knowing the prayers that have been uttered and the endless work being done here on behalf of the orphan. I quietly lifted up my own prayer for the staff and all who enter those doors.
I do wonder if and when God will call me back to China. I would love to share this place with people I love. Praying God opens the hearts of those He would open and guard mine as I wait to hear His voice in regards to traveling again. However, as GEMS approaches, I am reminded of the spiritual orphans I have been called to serve and I am so excited. Grateful God has allowed me to serve Him in this way.
Show Hope is headquartered in Franklin, TN, and I knew I wouldn't have time to visit with dear China friends, but I desperately wanted to at least SEE where all the magic happens. After a short drive from Nashville, we stumbled upon The Factory. I just assumed I'd find a typical, empty-for-the-weekend office building. The parking lot was full, though, so we decided to walk around. Inside was an eclectic atmosphere of antiques, boutiques, businesses, and restaurants...and upstiars...we found it!!
I'm not sure why, but I had to blink back the tears as I approached the doors, knowing the prayers that have been uttered and the endless work being done here on behalf of the orphan. I quietly lifted up my own prayer for the staff and all who enter those doors.
I do wonder if and when God will call me back to China. I would love to share this place with people I love. Praying God opens the hearts of those He would open and guard mine as I wait to hear His voice in regards to traveling again. However, as GEMS approaches, I am reminded of the spiritual orphans I have been called to serve and I am so excited. Grateful God has allowed me to serve Him in this way.
New things
I love grocery shopping! Cooking, eating, planning and eating. All favorites of mine!
Decided to try some new things today...
Portion control is a struggle and peanut butter (my favorite!) can be a slippery slope for me...Curious to try this. Even if I slip, it's not too high of a slope!
These seem like a perfect new staple to accompany my breakfast egg and spinach bake, or something balanced on-the-go.
Found a new Kashi snack!
Excited to try these "chips!"
And, after a week away from the kitchen thanks to VBS, I am very excited to make bacon wrapped shrimp and scallops for my husband tonight!
Decided to try some new things today...
Portion control is a struggle and peanut butter (my favorite!) can be a slippery slope for me...Curious to try this. Even if I slip, it's not too high of a slope!
These seem like a perfect new staple to accompany my breakfast egg and spinach bake, or something balanced on-the-go.
Found a new Kashi snack!
Excited to try these "chips!"
And, after a week away from the kitchen thanks to VBS, I am very excited to make bacon wrapped shrimp and scallops for my husband tonight!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Concrete Thinking
The sweetest and one of the quietest boys in my VBS class raised his hand when I asked for someone to say John 3:16 during a review game tonight. I secretly got really excited. He slowly responded, John 3:16...with a little confusion in his voice, like, that was a weird question for me to ask! My goodness, I love kids.
I am grateful for the gift of children. It is so fun to watch them absorb God's truths and begin to process His great grace and make it their own. Tonight, we talked gospel. Black. Red. White. Yellow. Green.
I can talk to kids so much easier than adults. I should treasure that gift, but I too often put myself down for my "Moses-like" communication skills otherwise.
I wish I could just be. Be confident in my gifts. Be confident in my body. Be confident in my words. Be confident in my relationships.
I wish I didn't spend so much time wishing...
My God is God of the Universe and here I obsess over a few pounds, a few bucks, a few minutes. He is in control and wants me to simply be the woman he created me in my mother's womb to be. I am His child. I CAN rest in that identity alone. I can trust God. With everything.
To God be the glory. Forever.
I am grateful for the gift of children. It is so fun to watch them absorb God's truths and begin to process His great grace and make it their own. Tonight, we talked gospel. Black. Red. White. Yellow. Green.
I can talk to kids so much easier than adults. I should treasure that gift, but I too often put myself down for my "Moses-like" communication skills otherwise.
I wish I could just be. Be confident in my gifts. Be confident in my body. Be confident in my words. Be confident in my relationships.
I wish I didn't spend so much time wishing...
My God is God of the Universe and here I obsess over a few pounds, a few bucks, a few minutes. He is in control and wants me to simply be the woman he created me in my mother's womb to be. I am His child. I CAN rest in that identity alone. I can trust God. With everything.
To God be the glory. Forever.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
A search for peace
When a newly married couple moves into their first home, they know it is a temporary one. Heck, that's why they call it a "starter home." (Now, theologically speaking, anytime spent on this earth is living in our temporary "home" but I am speaking of the small place you can kinda afford now before you buy a "real" house to make room for a family. Stay with me here.)
Nate and I chose a beautiful condo halfway between Cleveland and Akron in 2007 as our starter home. It was perfect, my white and blue family room, my walk-in closet, my fireplace, my vaulted ceilings, my laundry room. It was everything I wanted. But, it didn't take long for longing to set in. The "need" for a basement, a yard, a garden, an attached garage, 2 sinks in our bathroom and kitchen counter space soon became my focus (and Nate just couldn't see past that ultimate man cave).
Then, to make matters worse, the market tanked. Which also meant the already low resale value of condos tanked. Houses were so cheap, which made it hard not to look. So we did. Interest rates stayed low and years later, we still discussed the best way to be wise stewards of what we have.
Do we sell by owner and try to break even? Take a loss just to get out? Rent? We prayed and prayed and thought and discussed and thought some more. God seemed silent. I prayed for any selfish desires to be cast aside in our hope for a long-term home. Yes, my "wish" list above could fall under the category of selfish desires, but the top 2 reasons we wanted to move...drumroll, please....to be closer to Stow (where we spend summers at the ball fields and pool, where Nate's best friend/brother lives, and where my best friend/mom lives, and secondly, to begin planning a family of our own.
Now call me crazy, but I really didn't see how God could consider family a selfish motive.
We continued to pray.
Anytime we explored selling or renting, it just didn't feel right. It felt forced. It did not seem to be where God was leading us. We made phone calls, sought advice, but when we went to the Lord in prayer, He wasn't leading us down any of these paths. Again, my/our frustrations in my/our plans got the best of me. "Lord," I would say, "This is for my family, my future family...why aren't you letting me have this?"
Nate and I prayed together a few nights ago, and I felt at my wits end of trying to figure out what we are supposed to do. The next night, we had a great conversation and weighed options yet again. We looked at the past, how God had led us and how He maybe leading us in the same way now. We had been diligent with our finances to pay off Nate's student loans in 3 years. Since that time, we have built a small emergency savings fund. I love my little accountant husband. He can do tricks with a spreadsheet that I didn't even know were possible. We crunched some numbers and realized if we follow the plan we set forth when paying off student loans, in a year, we could have some major equity built up, let alone two more years. It's encouraging to be actively working toward a goal and not just waiting for something to happen.
I woke up the next morning feeling peace.
Oh, glorious peace! I had longed for that feeling and reassurance from my mighty, omniscience, promise-keeping God.
We know this home is wonderful, and there are days I really can't imagine living anywhere else. (I've been known to say if I can pick up this place and drop it in Stow, I'd be cool.) We will cope with our "summer commute" and know this season of life is sweet and won't last forever.
With this waiting for a home probably does come waiting for a family. And it's good. My childhood dream of being a "young mom" was not what God had for me. I know the more diligent and wise choices we make now and the longer I work, with the Lord's provision, my other dream of being a stay at home mom is on it's way to coming true :)
So, that's that. Peace. God is good.
I am praying to you because I know you will answer, O God. Bend down and listen as I pray. Psalm 17:6
Nate and I chose a beautiful condo halfway between Cleveland and Akron in 2007 as our starter home. It was perfect, my white and blue family room, my walk-in closet, my fireplace, my vaulted ceilings, my laundry room. It was everything I wanted. But, it didn't take long for longing to set in. The "need" for a basement, a yard, a garden, an attached garage, 2 sinks in our bathroom and kitchen counter space soon became my focus (and Nate just couldn't see past that ultimate man cave).
Then, to make matters worse, the market tanked. Which also meant the already low resale value of condos tanked. Houses were so cheap, which made it hard not to look. So we did. Interest rates stayed low and years later, we still discussed the best way to be wise stewards of what we have.
Do we sell by owner and try to break even? Take a loss just to get out? Rent? We prayed and prayed and thought and discussed and thought some more. God seemed silent. I prayed for any selfish desires to be cast aside in our hope for a long-term home. Yes, my "wish" list above could fall under the category of selfish desires, but the top 2 reasons we wanted to move...drumroll, please....to be closer to Stow (where we spend summers at the ball fields and pool, where Nate's best friend/brother lives, and where my best friend/mom lives, and secondly, to begin planning a family of our own.
Now call me crazy, but I really didn't see how God could consider family a selfish motive.
We continued to pray.
Anytime we explored selling or renting, it just didn't feel right. It felt forced. It did not seem to be where God was leading us. We made phone calls, sought advice, but when we went to the Lord in prayer, He wasn't leading us down any of these paths. Again, my/our frustrations in my/our plans got the best of me. "Lord," I would say, "This is for my family, my future family...why aren't you letting me have this?"
Nate and I prayed together a few nights ago, and I felt at my wits end of trying to figure out what we are supposed to do. The next night, we had a great conversation and weighed options yet again. We looked at the past, how God had led us and how He maybe leading us in the same way now. We had been diligent with our finances to pay off Nate's student loans in 3 years. Since that time, we have built a small emergency savings fund. I love my little accountant husband. He can do tricks with a spreadsheet that I didn't even know were possible. We crunched some numbers and realized if we follow the plan we set forth when paying off student loans, in a year, we could have some major equity built up, let alone two more years. It's encouraging to be actively working toward a goal and not just waiting for something to happen.
I woke up the next morning feeling peace.
Oh, glorious peace! I had longed for that feeling and reassurance from my mighty, omniscience, promise-keeping God.
We know this home is wonderful, and there are days I really can't imagine living anywhere else. (I've been known to say if I can pick up this place and drop it in Stow, I'd be cool.) We will cope with our "summer commute" and know this season of life is sweet and won't last forever.
With this waiting for a home probably does come waiting for a family. And it's good. My childhood dream of being a "young mom" was not what God had for me. I know the more diligent and wise choices we make now and the longer I work, with the Lord's provision, my other dream of being a stay at home mom is on it's way to coming true :)
So, that's that. Peace. God is good.
I am praying to you because I know you will answer, O God. Bend down and listen as I pray. Psalm 17:6
Monday, July 11, 2011
Freedom
For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 2 Corinthians 3:17
Keep your servant from deliberate sins! Don’t let them control me. Then I will be free of guilt and innocent of great sin. Psalm 19:13
For I cried out to him for help, praising him as I spoke. Psalm 66:17Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature. Romans 13: 14
He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. His heart is secure, he will have no fear; in the end he will look in triumph on his foes." Psalm 112:7-8
Monday, May 23, 2011
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