When a newly married couple moves into their first home, they know it is a temporary one. Heck, that's why they call it a "starter home." (Now, theologically speaking, anytime spent on this earth is living in our temporary "home" but I am speaking of the small place you can kinda afford now before you buy a "real" house to make room for a family. Stay with me here.)
Nate and I chose a beautiful condo halfway between Cleveland and Akron in 2007 as our starter home. It was perfect, my white and blue family room, my walk-in closet, my fireplace, my vaulted ceilings, my laundry room. It was everything I wanted. But, it didn't take long for longing to set in. The "need" for a basement, a yard, a garden, an attached garage, 2 sinks in our bathroom and kitchen counter space soon became my focus (and Nate just couldn't see past that ultimate man cave).
Then, to make matters worse, the market tanked. Which also meant the already low resale value of condos tanked. Houses were so cheap, which made it hard not to look. So we did. Interest rates stayed low and years later, we still discussed the best way to be wise stewards of what we have.
Do we sell by owner and try to break even? Take a loss just to get out? Rent? We prayed and prayed and thought and discussed and thought some more. God seemed silent. I prayed for any selfish desires to be cast aside in our hope for a long-term home. Yes, my "wish" list above could fall under the category of selfish desires, but the top 2 reasons we wanted to move...drumroll, please....to be closer to Stow (where we spend summers at the ball fields and pool, where Nate's best friend/brother lives, and where my best friend/mom lives, and secondly, to begin planning a family of our own.
Now call me crazy, but I really didn't see how God could consider family a selfish motive.
We continued to pray.
Anytime we explored selling or renting, it just didn't feel right. It felt forced. It did not seem to be where God was leading us. We made phone calls, sought advice, but when we went to the Lord in prayer, He wasn't leading us down any of these paths. Again, my/our frustrations in my/our plans got the best of me. "Lord," I would say, "This is for my family, my future family...why aren't you letting me have this?"
Nate and I prayed together a few nights ago, and I felt at my wits end of trying to figure out what we are supposed to do. The next night, we had a great conversation and weighed options yet again. We looked at the past, how God had led us and how He maybe leading us in the same way now. We had been diligent with our finances to pay off Nate's student loans in 3 years. Since that time, we have built a small emergency savings fund. I love my little accountant husband. He can do tricks with a spreadsheet that I didn't even know were possible. We crunched some numbers and realized if we follow the plan we set forth when paying off student loans, in a year, we could have some major equity built up, let alone two more years. It's encouraging to be actively working toward a goal and not just waiting for something to happen.
I woke up the next morning feeling peace.
Oh, glorious peace! I had longed for that feeling and reassurance from my mighty, omniscience, promise-keeping God.
We know this home is wonderful, and there are days I really can't imagine living anywhere else. (I've been known to say if I can pick up this place and drop it in Stow, I'd be cool.) We will cope with our "summer commute" and know this season of life is sweet and won't last forever.
With this waiting for a home probably does come waiting for a family. And it's good. My childhood dream of being a "young mom" was not what God had for me. I know the more diligent and wise choices we make now and the longer I work, with the Lord's provision, my other dream of being a stay at home mom is on it's way to coming true :)
So, that's that. Peace. God is good.
I am praying to you because I know you will answer, O God. Bend down and listen as I pray. Psalm 17:6
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