Hopes and Goals

I've never been one to enjoy New Years.

For the first time in almost 27 years, I'm ready to put the present year behind me.  It is safe to say, the last six months has been a difficult season, the most trying of my life.  I've struggled physically, mentally and emotionally.  I'm ready to move on, feel better and look towards hope (more on this in a few days).

I recently finished my Bible reading plan, which always brings a sense of accomplishment.  I plan to read through sections of the Bible at a slower pace this year, but to challenge myself, I will be joining in on this Scripture Memory Team.  God's laid memory work on my heart for a long time and I really have struggled with how to stay accountable.  Beth Moore comes through once again!

Every 1st and 15th, we report to the website above with the verse we will be memorizing for two weeks.  To take this a step further.  Every 1st and 15th (give or take a day or two), I will write a blog entry sharing the verse I am memorizing and why I choose that verse. 

Enjoy the final days of 2012...I know I will (try! :)

Every morning

I was driving this morning, and this line of a certain song jumped out to me: "Cuz' we both know that His mercy flows, In the morning."  My mind meditated on that truth and I prayed I would understand the wonder of God's faithfulness.

Let's break this down for a minute.

He is God.  I could wake up tomorrow and He could take away His mercy, His grace, His love.  He could.  He is God. 

But He doesn't.  He continues, every morning, to be the same, yesterday, today and forever.  He is a God of promise.  What a sad reality of many world religions to not be able to depend on the one you worship. 

"We both know...," the song says.  We know.  The Word says and we know it is true.  There are not many guarantees in this life.  God know how hard it is for us here, separated from Him.  I truly believe that.  But he is reliable.  He is constant.

He is God.  So go on, live in His mercy today.

Five Years

Instead of trying to put into words the amazing blessing of marriage or my love to a self-less man, we will review the last 5 years in pictures. Sorry if you don't like pictures. I do. And it's my blog.

Happy Day

Honeymoon, lost ring, still smiling

First Christmas

Nephew #1

NY for my Birthday

Trying to bribe our new, terrified, cat to stop hiding behind the dryer

Padres game. California is cold.

Weddings and good friends

1st Anniversary

Family vacations

Brit broke our tree. And people wonder why I don't like pets.

Lots of swimming

Myrtle Beach, 2009

Nephew #2

Car accidents...

Races

Growing family

Moving Day

Bought an adult house

Spent a lot of time with our 2 favorite boys

Cruise in the middle of Hurricane Isaac

5 years later. Still feels like it was yesterday...

Missing you, yes, all of you!

I stumbled upon a mess of pictures of from Maria's Big House of Hope. 

Quiet tears began to fall. Oh, I miss that house.

I miss it so much it hurts. Seriously. We're talking literal pain in my chest...or would that be my heart?

I miss those laughs, the smells, the pitter-patter of little, bare feet on the cold, hard floor.

I took another hit when I checked, "just to see," if any of the summer trips were still accepting applications.

No such luck.   

My arms feel very empty these days...

Full

Do you ever feel like your head is so full that it just may explode? I have a range of emotions stirring inside of me...hurting for a friend, frustration at work, excitement for our new home, dying to hold some sweet babies in China...

And all this, this is fleeting.

A mist, a breath, a speck.

You are on the throne,

in control, full of love and grace.

On children...

The world teaches us that children come with a cost.  But they don’t teach
that they come with a reward.  The reward is the harmony created in a home
centered on God and His purpose.

In all the years I’ve been listening, no mom has ever told me she wished
she had had fewer children, but at least a hundred have told me they wish
they’d had more. 

-Barbara Curtis

Prayer

...is one of my favorite things. Only by God's perfect grace can I say that. Recently, God's laid a couple of thoughts regarding prayer on my heart. I love when God does this with a certain topic, especially over several days. It's like He's saying, "Hey! Beloved! I'm about to teach you something that will bring you closer to me!"

1. I don't know about you, but I've never been a fan of the way "church" does prayer requests. Personally, I've never been one to share my feelings, needs, etc with just anyone so why would I suddenly start just because we call it "prayer request time?" But, speaking more about the American church culture here, it hit me last Sunday. In the middle of a typical, go around and share everything you think you need fashion, I thought, "It's gotta be more than this; this can't be how it is supposed to be!" Now, by no means do I want to come across as one lacking compassion for my brothers and sisters. I believe in prayer and the power of a body of believers lifting each other up, but sometimes it feels so unauthentic or going through the motions. Here's my question: How is it supposed to be? God, open our eyes to the truths of what prayer really is...speaking with the Creator of the universe. Help us take it seriously. Help us be sincere. Help us help each other grow in prayer. You want to hear from us. Let us do so respectfully and full of honor.

2. I remember hearing an interview with Billy Graham many, many years ago. When asked how often he prays, he explained how he's always communicating with God. Even when talking during that very interview, he was also praying and talking with God. I loved that! It became a goal, if you will, for me. No matter what I am doing or who (else) I may be talking with, I always want to keep my heart in open communication with God. Over the years, this is how I would describe my prayer life. It is constant, but is it intentional? I think both are needed. I was convicted this week about something I should be on my knees for so much more than I am. My question: how do I make my constant prayer intentional prayer?

As I continue to seek, I will "devote [myself] to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart." (Colossians 4:2)