Missing you, yes, all of you!

I stumbled upon a mess of pictures of from Maria's Big House of Hope. 

Quiet tears began to fall. Oh, I miss that house.

I miss it so much it hurts. Seriously. We're talking literal pain in my chest...or would that be my heart?

I miss those laughs, the smells, the pitter-patter of little, bare feet on the cold, hard floor.

I took another hit when I checked, "just to see," if any of the summer trips were still accepting applications.

No such luck.   

My arms feel very empty these days...

Full

Do you ever feel like your head is so full that it just may explode? I have a range of emotions stirring inside of me...hurting for a friend, frustration at work, excitement for our new home, dying to hold some sweet babies in China...

And all this, this is fleeting.

A mist, a breath, a speck.

You are on the throne,

in control, full of love and grace.

On children...

The world teaches us that children come with a cost.  But they don’t teach
that they come with a reward.  The reward is the harmony created in a home
centered on God and His purpose.

In all the years I’ve been listening, no mom has ever told me she wished
she had had fewer children, but at least a hundred have told me they wish
they’d had more. 

-Barbara Curtis

Prayer

...is one of my favorite things. Only by God's perfect grace can I say that. Recently, God's laid a couple of thoughts regarding prayer on my heart. I love when God does this with a certain topic, especially over several days. It's like He's saying, "Hey! Beloved! I'm about to teach you something that will bring you closer to me!"

1. I don't know about you, but I've never been a fan of the way "church" does prayer requests. Personally, I've never been one to share my feelings, needs, etc with just anyone so why would I suddenly start just because we call it "prayer request time?" But, speaking more about the American church culture here, it hit me last Sunday. In the middle of a typical, go around and share everything you think you need fashion, I thought, "It's gotta be more than this; this can't be how it is supposed to be!" Now, by no means do I want to come across as one lacking compassion for my brothers and sisters. I believe in prayer and the power of a body of believers lifting each other up, but sometimes it feels so unauthentic or going through the motions. Here's my question: How is it supposed to be? God, open our eyes to the truths of what prayer really is...speaking with the Creator of the universe. Help us take it seriously. Help us be sincere. Help us help each other grow in prayer. You want to hear from us. Let us do so respectfully and full of honor.

2. I remember hearing an interview with Billy Graham many, many years ago. When asked how often he prays, he explained how he's always communicating with God. Even when talking during that very interview, he was also praying and talking with God. I loved that! It became a goal, if you will, for me. No matter what I am doing or who (else) I may be talking with, I always want to keep my heart in open communication with God. Over the years, this is how I would describe my prayer life. It is constant, but is it intentional? I think both are needed. I was convicted this week about something I should be on my knees for so much more than I am. My question: how do I make my constant prayer intentional prayer?

As I continue to seek, I will "devote [myself] to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart." (Colossians 4:2)

Outloud

When was the last time the cross was so real it made you call out?  Or the Scriptures?  Or even, just, His goodness?

Keep it hard, Lord

Apparently, we are in a biding battle for a home. 

Tomorrow we should know if we've bought a new house or not.

As I jogged this afternoon, soaking up the sun and His goodness, I prayed and questioned & received answers and peace.

For a brief moment, my jealousy questioned why we couldn't have received two offers after our condo had been on the market for only 7 days.  How quickly God stopped that thought.  If we had sold in one week instead of a trying six months, I would have missed out on SO many lessons.  Even though many of those lessons were difficult, I would not have traded that season for the world.  Many of the lessons weren't even about real estate, but about my heart, soul and body.  Praise.

So, as I see it, one of two things will happen tomorrow.  Our offer will either be (A) turned down or (B) accepted.  If it's (A), I will allow myself 2, maybe 3, minutes of disappointment, but ultimately I will know His ways are better than mine and a different path or something better is waiting for us.  If it's (B), I will praise God for keeping this process hard.  If this is how it must be for my husband and I to lean on our Mighty God, then yes Lord, keep it hard.

My prayer is for my husband.  As he will ultimately be deciding our final offer tonight.  I submit to him because he seeks and loves You, Lord.  Amen.

In the light of this Holy Week, I'm finding it difficult be caught up in this world.  Save my heart for my next Eternal Home, my Savior.  Amen.

Every good and perfect gift

"Wait on the Lord! So many presents are wrapped under your tree that it will take a lifetime to open them. That's God's way. He keeps telling us that there's something He's not telling us, like exactly how this whole thing is going to to work out. This we can know: it's going to be perfect."

-Beth Moore, James: Mercy Triumphs